Saturday night I went to sleep with congestion. I propped up pillows so I slept upright. In the morning I knew I had a stiff neck. Usually it goes away on its own. I didn’t listen to it. I should have stayed in bed with a rolled towel under my neck. Instead I did shopping I promised to do and went to a movie I’d promised I’d go to. Upon seeing my discomfort at trying to get out of the car at the movie theatre, my husband asked if I really wanted to do this. My reply was that we were already here. The car ride with bumps was the worst part. So I sat for 2 and a half hours through previews and movie when I should have been flat on my back. Not good.
As I write this it occurs to me I didn’t honor my body- putting ahead of it the coulds and woulds of my ego.
Upon returning home I took a painkiller and lay down for two hours. Upon awakening I felt worse, not better. I made preparations for a sub today at work. I thought I’d go see my PCP today. Made it an hour before I knew I needed Urgent Care.
Last night by 7:30 I had painkillers, muscle relaxant, a shot of prednisone (which may be making me emotional today) and a foam neck brace- which I slept in. I never was able to get a sub. Part of me feels bad at the thought of putting my burdens on my coworkers. They got my papers ready, they may have had to split my class today. My perfectionist streak takes it out on me with negative thoughts of how if I’d been more prepared I wouldn’t have inconvenienced my coworkers and been a burden. “Been a burden” eh? See what a drama queen I get to be when I let it.
So anyway- the original point of this post was what I see in my eating habits. I’m still in my calorie goal and avoiding triggers but I’m going for more crackers, and some halo ice cream. Unconsciously I’ve been trying to “feel better” physically by consuming easy carbs/sugars.
Knowing is half the battle. The other half is not doing.