I started to eat when I wasn’t hungry tonight. DH was leaving soon for a game at a friend’s house. I stopped and asked myself why I was eating. What was I feeling? I felt anxious. Anxious that I’d be alone this evening? No, but close.
Back in 2003 I was on Weightwatchers. I lost 26lbs, going from 243 to 217. I was married to my first husband. Two weeks after our 8th wedding anniversary, and our 11th year together, he announced he didn’t want to be married to me anymore. I asked if there was someone else and he lied and said no. Turns out she was heavier than I was.
So fast forward to today. I was triggered by the irrational fear that this husband would leave me too. I’ve lost 18lbs since December. I was able to talk to DH about it, and lost the impulse to eat anxiously. Writing this also helped calm me.
Whew! Who knew life changes could be such a minefield? As long as I can recognize those moments as they happen, I should be able to navigate.